A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. -Frost

The world woke me again

to reveal one more secret

 

restless and alive once more

I stumble out to feel

 

there must be joy in being unseen

there must be joy in being unbreathed

the cold air of being untouched

and that feeling of I've loved so much

 

there must be laughter in our cries

there must be a faith that never dies

I can see the rebirth in your eyes

That same feeling when the sun will rise

 

Sometimes I wake up from a good nap inspired. Today just happened to be one of those naps.

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake

cause there's the end.

 

I forgot how many people actually read this thing. Oops. I had the BEST day today. EVER. EVER.

 

I'm not going to go into detail, but everyone that cares already knows why. I had a life-changing, mood-altering experience last night while sitting right at this very desk. I don't know where it came from but It felt great, and it has lasted me the whole day, and I hope it lasts the rest of my life. Its indescribable. Its wonderful. I have never felt better in my life. Nothing has made so much sense. I truly believe it is God-given. Only He could change my heart in a split second and cause me to be in state of ecstasy 24 hours....so far...

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake 

Strange light skin that I believe in
It stretches over bone and smells like honey on the wind
Oh so strange I can't remember
Where the heartache ends and the fever ache begins

Scenes of Mary Magalinda
Shakes her lovers bones at all the demons in the window
Oh so strange the dreams of hoping and the
Heartache swells and quickens me in the end

And it slows down, it slows down
'Till I shut down, I will drown

Strange light skin that I believe in
It leaps out of the phone and spills like honey from the window
Warm and strange I can't remember
Heart break mends when the fever ache begins

                         "Fevered" - The Stills

 

beautiful.

 

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake

"What are you going to do with your life?"

 

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

 

"Have you thought about college yet?"

 

"What is your major going to be?"

 

"Are you going to want a family?"

 

"How many kids?"

 

"Have you thought about what kind of woman you're going to marry?"

 

"What ARE your plans for the future?!"

 

 

uhh.........pass?

 

I remember my freshman year like it was yesterday. I was more stressed about college then than I am now. Where should I go? What should I do? I honestly almost killed myself from stress. Then my dad told me, "chill out, you have time."  Did I chill out or what? For the next 10 months after my freshman year, I did NOTHING. I was so relaxed. It was great. I had not a care in the world. Now, I feel the heat alittle bit. Last year, after i failed to raise the tuition for Summer school at Georgetown, I felt as if I should just quit and the politics of going to college wasn't worth it. Well, I calmed down about that too and settled into the fact that no matter where I end up in life, I want to be happy and with God. If I'm a trashman walking up every morning riding the back of a truck down a street all day, I'm cool with it. If I'm a man that travels the world in search of that one thing that sparks my interest most, than I'm down with it. If I'm a CEO of some huge corporation that makes billions of dollars a year, It'll be fine by me. If I'm a lowly actor in some theatre in a big city working a part-time job just getting by, I'll live with it. As long as God provides for me, I'm all good.

 

 

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake

 

 

beauty. cold. sunny. calm.

 

Today, I bought some washer fluid and a new ice scraper that is exactly like my old "bearclaw". He's the "Bearclaw 2".

 

I once fell in love, but now I watch my step.

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake

 

 

Valentines day is here and I feel the spirit of it. Working in a candy shop, you kinda get it in full swing.

I've had more people ask me if I have a girlfriend than ever before these past 4 days. I'm kinda feeling as if I should, but then I remember my past attempts and they pretty much make me cringe.

Love is such an easy thing to fall into, but such a mess to get out of.

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."
-Robert Frost(my buddy)

I think it would be fun to have someone on Valentines Day. I always have. Since like 2nd grade. Its funny thinking back to those days and remembering my first crush. It lasted like a day, but it was still fun. Alright, I'm done reminiscing. Find your love and maybe one day they'll realize they love you as well.

thanks for visiting my life-
Jake

Oh beautiful view, why do you surround me? Cramping my emo style and showing me the light. I never thought I'd say it, but I can't live with your smile. I'll create my own happiness far from you. Experiencing life and loving it all while knowing you are lurking close yet concealed. I make my way through a particular day wondering if you remember me. So many ways to say what I mean. Not enough meaning to say it.

 

You stay past time and stare at me from across the plain. The lack of comfort is sensed after its all over. On my mind but out of sight, I still feel you. Like you're following me. Stalking my words, manifesting a physical monitor of my actions, though I know you are far from me...just as I wished. 

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake

Many times I sit and hope that one day I'll understand why it is exactly I sit and hope.

 

I don't like days-after-rainy-days. Everything's so wet.

 

I'm almost done with a book called In Summer by Jeremy Jackson. Its great. I highly recommend it. It describes the summer after highschool for a guy who works as a life guard and helps his cousin of the same age build and start up a farm while finally falling in love with a girl he'd known his whole high school career. I have 1 chapter left. So I think I might go to Books a million today and get a new book. Then Super Bowl. Go Steelers.

 

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake

A time I wish I could forget, but knowing that it practically summarizes my middle school career makes me look back on that month in history as a time of awkwardness and mystery. Did I truly know what I was doing? I was merely a 7th grader. Why me?

 

I cleaned my room entirely today. I turned it upside down and threw away or gave away half of my possessions. I call it my "the-weather-outside-is-like-spring-anyway-so-why-not cleaning". I found so manythings that made me fell great like notes of encouragement, but made me sad, because they were from people I truly care about, but rarely talk to anymore. I've kept almost every note I've ever recieved since seventh grade in a few shoeboxes. I went through and read each one and threw away about 50-60 small folded pieces of paper and kept about 20. It was nice.

 

I can actually breathe in my room now. It smells really good too. It took me about 6-7 hours, but it was worth it. Thank God. Literally.

 

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake

 

A good book can inspire you not to fall asleep when you really should.....for health reasons...

 

Occassionally you will find that the mysteries of another person become quite transparent come 9:00am on a saturday morning over a short stack at IHOP.

 

Have you ever....

 

tried to jump up a flight of stairs only to skin the palm of your hand?

 

tried to carbonate a bottle of water with a bike pump?

 

seen a squirrel fall out of a tree....after a falling acorn?

 

fallen in love only to realize that it hurts alot more than you once thought?

 

I sure hope so. Life wouldn't be half as great without those experiences to remind us that we are still human.

 

 

 

thanks for visiting my life-

Jake